Allison Gandlin, Period 7, 12/2/2022

 Literacy & Learning

Grendel by John Gardner has proven itself to be timeless. It seems as though every time you

read it you may take away a different lesson or meaning or simply an idea that you didn’t place

emphasis on the previous time. At this point in my life, I have looked at Grendel through the lens

of isolation and the effect it may have on the mentality of the individual, whether it be positive or

negative.

Looking through the lessons, it is mind boggling that so many different meanings can be taken

from one work. Namely, zodiac representation, religious symbols, existential philosophies, &

critical theories that range from political to cognitive to race; just to name a few. While we did

read his letter to a teacher, I wonder how he developed the zodiac symbols in each chapter and

how intentional it was when creating the plot.

Focusing on the existential crises that Grendel experiences, it is clear that throughout the

book, he goes through various phases. These go from frustration to peace, confusion,

acceptance and more. He presents to the reader many different existential philosophies. I will go

through my thoughts on each that we discussed, one at a time.

Solipsism-

Not being able to trust your senses is terrifying, yet for some reason, there is a philosophical

explanation that can allow us to relax and understand that nothing else truly exists outside of

our minds. It is each of our own worlds and we all have the power to control how we perceive

and therefore, control how everything truly is. While I don’t agree with it, I can see how a lost

soul can find themselves drowning in solipsism ideals. Only one who questions their existence

in an insecure manner would allow themselves to live by this standard. That, or a ridiculously

entitled or paranoid being. During this period, I had pitied Grendel.

Nihilism-

The dragon’s influence on Grendel is no surprise at that point in Grendel’s life. He was very

impressionable and not a strong character at all. He was looking for answers and I believe that

saying ‘nothing really matters, do as you please’ was not beneficial. It allows him to stop

questioning but rather living with no particular goal or purpose. If anything, it makes him more

lost.

Existentialism-

It is essentially a confusion. When you cannot seem to understand or accept any philosophies

here, you simply remain questioning for the rest of your life. Accepting the idea that you will

never truly know anything. I think this would be as close to peace as one could get.

Machiavellianism-

I believe this one is fairly cruel. It has a very Darwinistic feel to it. I don’t see kindness and

peace and love and happiness stemming from an ideal that says deceit allows for power. But

then again, that is what some people strive for.

On a more personal note, I have always had a belief that being alone for some time can allow

you to reflect on yourself and the world around you to better understand what makes you

happiest. It will minimize distractions and allow for you to never fear being alone which is, in

itself, an instinct. Human nature tells us that we are social creatures. Practicing and being able

to combat human nature will make one powerful, being able to go against your mind and

develop discipline. It stems from the ability to resist urges and emotions and acting on logic

regardless of feelings. It sounds wonderful in theory but I am learning that it is easier said than

done. Gardner, by making Grendel the protagonist, allows me to see the latter. It allows me to

understand what true isolation does to a character. If anything, my biggest and most relatable

takeaway was that a balance is necessary. I now strive to hone my ability to create boundaries

so that I can still enjoy being social without giving all of my ‘isolation time’ for self reflection and

self care away. I have been learning, thanks to this unit, to save some of myself for me, but also

allow myself to be vulnerable with friends, who I am ten times more grateful for after

experiencing Grendel’s solitude and my petty teenage rebel attempt at it.

Overall, I have spent a lot of time trying to understand what is the ‘ideal way to live’, which I

know doesn’t exist yet I am still searching for an answer. I believe that Grendel reveals a lot of

what I strive NOT to be: judgmental, critical, entitled (whether victimized entitlement or

egotistical), compliant, petty, desperate and more. Hopefully this will continue my journey in

coming of age, learning my own values and the type of person I want to be. Gardner has not

given me an outline of life and character, but he has given me a list of ideals that I am now sure

that I will leave out of my personal outline.

We have been living his story with him, and I am just now putting this thought into words: we

are learning his lessons so we don't have to go through them the hard way. I am learning to love

books and take something away from every story that I read to make my life 0.5% better. So far

it is working and I do not understand why I would ever choose to not read a book in my free

time. Ridiculous media nowadays I guess. Thank you for this opportunity to think differently

today Mr. Gardner! Namaste.