Michelle Lu, Period 1, 03/14/22

Literacy & Learning

 Write about your thoughts regarding any of the fiction or nonfiction covered in class.

Recently, our class delved into John Gardner’s story of “Grendel.” Near the beginning, we questioned the characteristics and classifications of a monster, and through comparing Grendel from the perspectives of the story of “Beowulf” and Gardner’s “Grendel,” we can see the contrast in the presentation of the monster that Grendel is depicted to be. In the story of “Beowulf,” Grendel was stripped of any emotions and thoughts, functioning as a mindless body engineered to terrorize and kill. Through Gardner’s story, however, I see the commonality between this “monster” and human nature. Gardner depicted Grendel as a rebellious teenager who sought and struggled to find his own identity and purpose in life. This is similar to us humans in that we’ve questioned the purpose of our existence and our goals, especially during our teenage years. As an outsider, the urge for Grendel to find his place in society was so strong that he was willing to be labeled as a monster by the Shaper. This reminds me of Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development. According to Erikson’s theory, the fifth stage of a human’s psychosocial crisis, which occurs during the teenage years, is identity versus role confusion. During this stage of development, we search for a sense of self and personal identity, and this is a stage that Grendel can be seen in. Additionally, the idea of meaningfulness serves a strong purpose within Gardner’s story. Throughout the entirety of Grendel’s life, he had been seeking purpose and meaningfulness. It was when he was told that everything was meaningless by the Dragon that he began to grow into the monster that he is. In life, I feel as if a sense of meaningfulness and purpose is one of the factors that push us forward. Life would not succeed had we truly believed that everything is meaningless.

Reflect on any new information you have learned in English class by considering how that learning influences your critical perception.

The idea of existentialism and nihilism played a big role in Gardner’s “Grendel.” Throughout the beginning of the book, existentialism took place in that Grendel was continuously seeking meaning and purpose in his life. When he came across the Shaper, despite being labeled as a monster in his poem, Grendel still listened to him because his beautiful words gave Grendel something to grasp onto. It gave Grendel the meanings and purposes that he had been searching for for so long. However, a nihilistic viewpoint took over once Grendel encountered the Dragon. Grendel transformed from seeking meanings and purposes to believing that everything was meaningless, leading to the monster that he eventually became. Outside of “Grendel,” I have become more aware of when the ideas of existentialism and nihilism take play in my personal life. With college applications finished, the nihilistic thoughts of “nothing matters anymore” regarding school pops into my head occasionally. My motivation to stay on this tiring and oftentimes stressful track seems to be vanishing by the day. However, a bigger part of me knows that I can’t stop now after all the efforts and late nights that I have given. Even if everything seems meaningless right now, I know of the accomplishments and meaningfulness that I’ll feel by pushing forward, and I’m aware that all the efforts and work that I’m putting in right now will only benefit me in the future.

How is what you’re learning applied to any other classes/the world around you?

One of the most vivid symbolism from Gardner’s “Grendel” is the goat. To me, the goat symbolizes perseverance despite the chance of fruitless results. When the goat was continuously striving upwards, Grendel tried to ease the goat’s effort by saying that there’s nothing at his destination. In this case, we can see a similarity in the role between Grendel and the Dragon in that the Dragon eased Grendel’s continuous effort and struggle to find meanings and purposes in life by telling him that everything is meaningless. And in a way, the goat represents Grendel before his encounter with the Dragon. However, that’s where the similarity between the two characters ends. Unlike the goat, who kept on going forward and establishing his own path in life despite being told that his actions were useless, Grendel chose to listen and took on the nihilistic pathway set by the Dragon, which eventually turned him into the monster that he became. Despite the goat’s terrible ending, his perseverance and self-determination to keep on going forward is a good example and motivation for me to build my own path in life and travel on despite any obstacles.