Sophia Liu, Period 2, 5/2/2023

 Creative & Fiction 

It still feels like yesterday that she's still here with me. I can still remember brushing her golden locks early in the morning and preparing breakfast as I helped her get ready for school. She was this bubbly, outgoing, and kind little girl who was willing to help out anyone. So why? Why did she have to go? Why was she subjected to the suffering and pain in her last days? Why was she taken away from me so soon? Why couldn’t I be the one to go? Her last days were spent bedridden with unknown sickness. I stood by her bedside and watched as she became weaker and her skin grew paler by each passing day. I felt useless, unable to do anything to help my precious daughter but merely say “you’re going to feel better soon.” Her last words to me were, “I can't breathe,” before she slowly drifted into eternal sleep.  I had been a liar.

Sometimes her passing still feels unreal. I still find myself preparing an extra portion of lunch for her or helping her lay her clothes out for school the next day. Perhaps I just couldn't accept her sudden passing. I still keep her close to my heart, in a pendant. I hope she is able to forgive me as I wallow in guilt.

Walking through the sceneries of Paris to forget my sorrows, I came across an antique store that had specialized in doll making. Dolls were her favorite toys to play with and she was always eager when she found a doll that looked like her. I could still hear her excited voice go “That one, that one!” whenever she wanted a new doll. I don't remember whether it was impulse or my curiosity, but I asked to become an apprentice and the rest was history. It was hard. I spent entire days and nights inside that shop and ended up taking the store when the old owner retired. All of my time was spent making dolls that resembled my daughter. I thought maybe doing this would relieve some of my pain and longing for her but it didn't. I thought surrounding myself with dolls that looked like her would make it feel like she was still here with me. There wasn't one moment where I felt happy after her death. My head was filled with useless thinking on how I wished I could've been a better mother and taken better care of her. 

Years passed by and I became this machine that endlessly produced these dolls with curly golden locks and large vibrant blue eyes. It was just another day until I saw something, no, someone that passed by my window that resembled my daughter. I had thought it was my mind playing tricks on me as the figure passed by extremely fast but I wasn't wrong.

I had looked forward to seeing her again and that was when she walked in. Her uncanny resemblance to my dolls startled me but I saw my daughter in her eyes and entirety.

“Is it possible for you to make me a woman doll?” she spoke with a mannerism that didn't belong to one of her age. 

“Yes of course…Why don't you want one that more resembles you?” I questioned her.

She replied with, “I'm sick of this. I'm sick and tired of being treated like a doll trapped inside this child's body.”

I thought that was an unusual response. “What do you mean by that?”

She opened herself up to me. “I’m sick of being trapped and treated like a child for the past hundred years. I did not want this. I had no choice. My mother had died right in front of me and was taken away from me. My only companion is being threatened by another being. I have no one left. Is it too much to ask for someone to be there for me?”

I learned about her situation and was willing to become a vampire. I wanted to take care of her. To make up for my past mistakes and treat Claudia with the utmost motherly love I can provide for her. Louis allowed me to do that. Even in my last moments, I did not regret anything. I was glad to be able to be there for my daughter.