Selina Zheng, Period 2, 1/10/23

Selina Zheng

Period 2

01/10/2023

Modern Mythology 2023

Atomic Habits & Growth

“New year; new me” is a phrase so often repeated, it loses its intention. Rather than approaching change and mindset as being in need of a specific checkpoint, I like to envision change to be an ever growing plant within my mind. As I mature, I can provide more nutrients to the plant and nurture it to grow and stem out of its small frame. Only by willing change to happen rather than passively waiting for a date, can I set the appropriate actions in my life to actualize the change I desire. Though coincidentally aligning with New Years, I do not impose these challenges I set for myself due to a matter of month or day, but rather because I deem these goals necessary for my best interest in the near and not so near future. 

At this current moment, in my current self, having not experienced what I will experience in the next second, my goals revolve around a recent obstacle: college applications. As any high school senior does, I stressed over these applications for months on end and only recently did a majority of the stress be lifted by finally submitting my application. Of course, a challenge overcome is not a goal for the future. My intended outcome is to enjoy senior year without stressing over college anymore. This is me speaking from the perspective of someone who has spent hours sitting in front of a blank document, worrying about a future I might not even have control over. I have spent far too long pondering if my future is predestined as some cultures preach or if I actually have control. But rather than agonizing over uncertainty, I rather spend an extra minute appreciating my friend’s smiles, listening to my peer’s debates, and relishing in the present moment. This standard is vague just as my perception of my future, but to realize this goal, I crafted a set of to-dos as any ambitious person does when approaching a goal. 

Step one: when in conversations, I want to steer clear of college topics unless the topic is healthy rather than rants on being stressed. Step two: during events, I will remind myself to observe my surroundings more and keep in touch with the emotions I feel in the instantaneous moment. Step three: rather than denying invitations to have fun solely because I have to work on college matters, I will make time to let myself have fun and enjoy my senior year. These are only a few of the many to-dos I set for myself, and though small, these daily reminders are essential for my growth as a person. 

It is easier to procrastinate and stress over hardships than it is to practice mindfulness. As an athlete, I am very familiar with zoning out and have noticed this habit peeking out during my races. As a track & field racer, it is detrimental to zone out because by zoning out means I am not actively being competitive but rather going with the flow. No athlete can improve this way, just like how I can not improve as a person if I kept “going with the flow” in my daily life. I have to remind myself to push during races, and similarly, I have to remind myself to be present during my life. Oftentimes, I wish to default to the easier choice, to keep stressing. It sounds contradictory, how could having fun be harder than stressing? But rather than the act of having fun, it is enjoying the moment and living the moment to its fullest. Stress will unfortunately be a constant in my life, as it is in many people’s, but by learning to offset being controlled by stress in my senior year of highschool, I can imagine how much happier I will be in college and onwards. I can not wait until next year to begin this change or keep pushing my growth to an arbitrary date, because that defeats the purpose of this goal. I need to seize the present day, to enjoy the “nows” rather than worry about the “laters”. That is not to say that I will not attend to my stress and only have fun, my intended purpose is to enjoy the fun times when I have them and work when I need to. I hope to find a balance between being challenged and being happy. 

Though just a seedling of a goal, I hope to nurture the plant in my mind to become strong and resilient. In this present time and space, I am having trouble living in the moment. By the time senior year ends, I hope to have gained a more extensive memory of senior year outside of worrying about applications. I hope to learn the skill of managing stress and reaching an equilibrium with leisure time.