Alyssa Zheng, Period 2, 1/9/2023

 Atomic Habits & Growth

If it’s not graded, I don’t need to do it. I’ve grown up doing only the bare minimum in school, seeing no point in going out of my way to complete a task if it didn’t produce a tangible result, such as a good grade. I strived to always have a give and take relationship in school, where whatever I put into my academic career, I would receive something I wanted in return. 

While this mindset isn’t completely incorrect, I have been executing it in the wrong way. My conception of what a good returning result is was wrong. A good grade is not the only thing that I can receive from my academic studies, and I shouldn’t strive to only earn that. Despite going to such an grade-intensive high school, I’ve actually learned here to not care about grades so much. 

And so, I set new standards for myself. I don’t want to be defined by a grade. Rather, I want to feel the sense of accomplishment from actually learning something or finding meaning to my work. I want to rewire my brain to feel proud not only by my A+ average, but by the personal growth that I can feel in my brain and body. Instead of setting my target as the grade, I set my target as the ability for my brain to be fed. Instead of looking at every assignment with the mindset that I have to finish it in order to maintain my average, I want to see it as an opportunity to fuel my knowledge and complete it with a positive mindset. 

However, it is hard to do this in an environment that contradicts my goal mindset. Although the school has been stressing growth mindset and instituting new habits of success, like allowing retakes for tests, the student body hasn't completely changed. There are still many individuals who place too much emphasis on a number or letter grade that it affects the entire student population by being pressured to follow along. In order to have resilience against this pressure, I am always trying my best to only focus on myself and persist with my mentality. At the end of the day, we all are living our own lives, and no other person should have that big of an influence on another. Small steps that I’ve found myself taking include not asking what grades my peers have, not outwardly complaining about how meaningless a class feels, and always trying my best on assignments to exceed just the bare minimum. 

Over time, under the pressure of our specialized high school, I’ve ultimately learned that what matters to other people doesn’t have to matter with me, and I should pursue my academic career based on my own standards.