Sean Zhao, Period 7, 11/15/2022

Truthfully speaking, at this time, my standards are in place so I don’t fall off the edge of the waterfall.The torrential tide of workload that constantly barrages me requires delicate care and thought to be placed into how I budget my time. Over the summer, I reflected on how much would be demanded of me. Extracurricular activities and commitments whittled down my personal time to something unrecognizable to me during the summer. I felt trapped in the few hours that I was allotted every day.

As I fought through these claustrophobic thoughts, I was able to map a way out by managing my time effectively. Isolating myself from distractions, setting a time limit and allowing myself to fully focus on the task at hand let me cut through the doubt and anxiety around deadlines. Being able to see exactly which mountains I needed to surmount was able to alleviate some of the paralyzing stress around deadlines. Using this method, I’m able to set my standards higher and higher. I want myself to be able to process all my responsibilities and commitments while still leaving wind down hours for myself. Ironically, even though dividing time for studying and projects came somewhat naturally, being able to truly take alone time was difficult. Of course, some standards are much more emotionless and robotic. I want to keep all my averages above a 90, try my best to not doze off in class, and other quantitative standards. These standards originated as a baseline that I feel I’d be able to reach. It helps keep me in check, and is a basic goal I wish to achieve. I’m able to bounce off of these standards to reach higher and higher.

Each day tests my ability to achieve these standards that I’ve set for myself. Each homework session, essay brainstorming call, and project meeting is an exercise in my own ability to think and create at a level that I, as well as my teachers, are satisfied with. Even through hiccups in the form of a bombed test, missing homeworks or a botched presentation, I’m still driven to meet my quantitative goals. I feel that these roadbumps are helpful in motivating me to climb higher up the next mountain, even if I fell the last time. I feel that my standards are rigid by nature, and not easily changed. I’m comfortable with pushing them ever higher, but need more work with adjusting them downward. To find a comfortable work life balance, I need to be able to let go of some standards. 

The biggest challenge in the face of my perfectly partitioned day and meticulous work schedule is the need for sleep. On multiple occasions, an innocent “eye-resting” break after school turns into a 4 hour nap, dashing my hopes for personal time. Scrambling to finish work, I’m accustomed to staying up late into the night in order to beat the deadlines. Unfortunately, you can see how a snowball effect begins to form. That’s why I feel that being able to budget my time carefully is an important standard that I have to meet. It allows me to reach my goals and be awake to see them.