Meryam Bnyamin, Period 8, 12/3/21

Meryam Bnyamin

Modern Mythology

Blog #2

At this current point in time, what specific goal(s) do you have for yourself? Why?

This is a really interesting period in my life. I feel like every single decision I make is crucial to the rest of my life. Of course, I recognize that this is not true, but sometimes it can feel like it is. I’m reaching a transitional point, and I feel overwhelmed and terrified, but also excited. The next year is filled with big events like graduation and college acceptances, and this is the perfect time to set goals and expectations for the coming months. I think of these as early New Year's resolutions. Most obviously, my biggest goal is to get into a college I like, or at the very least finish my applications. I need to go into the next stage of my life feeling content with where I’m going to be. A lot of the work I have done in the last year has been for this, and I don’t want to disappoint myself. I think in the midst of all of this, however, I want to enjoy my last year of high school and appreciate these last experiences. I don’t want to be too hard on myself as I have been the last three years. I want to cherish these important moments that I won’t get to experience again.

How do you demonstrate resilience towards achieving this goal? (or these goals?)

The last year of my life has revolved around applying to colleges. I spent my junior year studying for AP exams and the SAT and then doing research and writing essays, and now actually doing these applications. It has not been easy at all, especially with a literal global pandemic happening, and the stress of school, but I’ve been trying my best. This has been the toughest part of the process so far, juggling being back in the physical school environment and all of the responsibilities that come with it, and having to essentially prepare part of my future. As corny as it may sound, managing my time is what has helped me the most. I may have taken a bit too far with the 2 planners and 3 calendars I use, but it works so I’m not complaining. This brings me directly back to my point about letting myself enjoy my senior year. As annoying as it is, I’ve had to learn to prioritize aspects of my life to be able to keep up with my responsibilities and still have fun. It can get tough when I have to miss out on certain things, but it keeps me from getting off track. I also pretty much force myself to take a break, and in the long run, it benefits me and keeps me from going insane, which is always appreciated.

How does the world around you affect your perception of this goal? (or these goals?)

To address the elephant in the room (or rather the massive mammoth), COVID has not made things any easier. I feel like it has completely changed the environment around me into a much darker one. There’s this pessimism looming over me that makes everything a lot scarier and a lot less enjoyable. This state of constant fear I have been in has had less to do with college, and a lot more with the fact that there is quite literally a global pandemic happening right now. It can be hard to focus on my goals when I’m worried about the well-being of everyone around me and myself. I’ve lost people because of COVID, and I know so many others who have gone through the same thing. Everything seems so insignificant next to it. Whenever I see myself worrying about not getting into a particular college or that I might not have a graduation, I think about how small of an inconvenience that is compared to the genuine struggles people have experienced in the last year and a half. At the same time, I think it is somewhat motivating. I value my relationships and experiences more than ever. I want to take advantage of the somewhat normal period we’re experiencing to get involved and be successful.