Yana Polonskaya Pd 5 Day B Blog 2

 Yana Polonskaya

Period 5

05/14/2021

Day B

Modern Mythology 2021

Goal Setting & Growth

• At this current point in time, what specific goal(s) do you have for yourself? Why?

I’ve always had trouble understanding the phrase “living in the moment.” A majority of our day to day life revolves around reflecting on the past or working to build the perfect future. We dwell on past mistakes, no matter how trivial they may be to the bigger picture. We spend our days worrying about the future, planning out as much of it as we possibly can. I find myself constantly wondering where I’ll go next, constantly regretting past decisions and thinking “what if?”. It seemed as though there was always something I’d rather be doing, as though every choice I made was the wrong one. When leaving the house, I’d wish I stayed home and took more time to relax. When I’d have time to myself, I’d scramble to make plans and leave the house. I found myself in a cycle of stress and anxiety--I was constantly debating and weighing my options, and somehow still always making the wrong choice. I’d wake up today thinking of tomorrow and remembering yesterday. I also noticed my tendency to take pictures of almost every single moment of my life. Every memory had to be captured, and even worse, posted online. Throughout the day, I’d constantly worry about what would make the best social media post. Of course, having the perfect moments captured on camera is a beautiful concept, but eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t have a nice moment without thinking about my phone and my Snapchat camera. My mind was always racing, and I realized that I could never truly be happy while overthinking to that extent. Being mindful and present in every moment is something I’m truly aiming to get better at. There are so many parts of our daily routines that need to be appreciated for what they are, and I hope to get better at calming myself down and finding the beauty in all circumstances. I hope to stop feeling the need to document my life and living in my memories and stories--with every new day comes new experiences that deserve to be cherished. Recently I’ve been putting a lot more emphasis on making the most of every situation and trying to transform my natural state from worried/stressed to productive/happy. Simultaneously, I’ve tried to focus less on my social media presence--a post doesn’t define a moment’s worth. Learning how to be present in every moment is a powerful tool, one that I’m still learning how to utilize. 

• How do you demonstrate resilience towards achieving this goal? (or these goals?)

Over time, stress and doubt became second nature to me. Changing my most natural emotions and reactions has been taking a lot of mental stamina. As tempting as it might be to shut down and give into these feelings, I’ve been trying many different methods to learn mindfulness. The first is meditation, which has become a part of my daily routine. I’ve been training my mind to relax, to stop racing, and to focus on my surroundings. The second is staying physically active and developing a weekly workout schedule. Every week I have 1 Hip-Hop class and 2 Pilates classes. When I’m dancing, there's nowhere I’d rather be--I’m always concentrated in the best way possible. When working out, I’m able to focus on my body and clear my mind. Feeling productive has helped me overcome a lot of my negative emotions. Finally, another change I’ve implemented is limiting the time I spend on my phone. Waking up and immediately checking my phone, scrolling through social media while spending time with friends, feeling the need to post the details of my day constantly, and spending hours on my phone before falling asleep are just some unhealthy habits that eventually became ingrained into my daily routine. While I can’t escape social media as a whole, I’ve been trying to call myself out and prevent myself from getting too immersed into the online world. I’ve put a lot of emphasis on staying off my phone while I’m with others, maximizing the in-person interactions that I have. 

• How does the world around you affect your perception of this goal? (or these goals?)

Last year, during the initial lock-down, I found myself appreciating small details that I wouldn’t have cherished otherwise. Prior to the quarantine, I hated my daily morning bus ride, yet suddenly I found myself missing it more than anything. Walks and bike rides that previously seemed monotonous became exciting. Family dinners were lively; every interaction was extremely meaningful. All we had was time, and we felt every minute pass by. As much as I tried to hold on to these feelings of pure happiness from things so small, I reverted back to my usual self as the lock-down gradually lifted and life sped up. In a world so fast-paced and reliant on social media, it’s difficult to take a step back and focus on the singular moment you’re experiencing. However, the past year has demonstrated that we never truly know what the future holds. All we know is the present, and it’s our responsibility to make the most of it. I hope to relearn how to find joy in the most casual parts of my day, even as everything around me moves so quickly.