Amanda Lee, PD 2, 10/20/20, Day A

 Amanda Lee

10/20/20

Period 2

Modern Mythology

At this current point in time, what specific goal(s) do you have for yourself? Why?

Similarly to many of my peers, one of my biggest goals right now is to finish my college application process in hopes of getting into a preferred school.  But many people have began to forget what it means to feel. By feel, I mean that people are living their lives through a screen, especially given the situation at hand. A lack of feelings and communication with real people has made me realize how much we take for granted. While it is important for seniors, including myself, to force our way through the heavy college application process, my main goal right now is to find happiness and serenity off of the screen. Online school has been extremely rough on me - I have developed chronic migraines from sitting in front of a screen for hours a day. Whether it be going on 30 minute walks in between school and my online job, or taking a bath at the end of the day, I am trying to incorporate more ways to disconnect from the online world. Even if you are being overloaded and slammed with schoolwork, a job, or any other online activity, it is important find a balance between your own mental health and productivity.

How do you demonstrate resilience towards achieving this goal?

I am the type of person to overload myself with an extreme amount of work that I often cannot handle. The "big" things cloud my head, so in turn, I have started with the small things towards reaching a healthy mental state and overall better lifestyle. One of the small things I do to disconnect from my device is painting my nails. I replaced my old habit of biting my nails by painting them every other week. I find it extremely relaxing, painting layer by layer. While it does take a large chunk out of the day - about 2 hours - the relaxing mood it puts me in is worth it. It is somewhat ironic, because while I am disconnecting from work and schoolwork, I think that having painted nails makes me feel more productive. Hearing my nails clickety-clack on the MacBook keyboard as I type my essays makes me feel rewarded, like I am more productive in a sense. Overall, it is in the small things that I find ways to feel like I am actually alive during these strange times. As for college applications, I make big strides every time I work on them instead of making small steps with them everyday. In my opinion, this is more productive and better in hopes of achieving a more positive mental health.

How does the world around you affect your perception of these goals?

The world is 100% a strange place right now. Something that hurts my mental state is the world's positive attitude towards becoming remote. School is remote, work is remote, and life in general is becoming more remote. It is so hard to maintain a healthy state of mind when people are places are constantly relying on technology, and I pray that things change after a vaccine is found. Living in a world where we are like robots scares me, because I believe there is no point in living if we do not get to connect with the people around us (not through a screen). 

Being at one of the top high schools in the nation, the students here are very competitive and oftentimes rude when it comes to academics and more specifically, college applications. For instance, after receiving a 1350 on my first SAT last year, I was happy with the score as a base score, until students mocked me and told me I did poorly on the exam. I was upset to see the attitude of our student population, because they tend to push others down just for the sake of making themselves superior. This community negatively affects my perception of these goals, because many students try to make me feel inadequate compared to them. Luckily, as a person who is not afraid to stand up for herself, I do not let others push me down. Letting things get to your head, however, is a different story. Hearing and seeing people rush past me makes me feel like I am not doing enough, which cripples my mental state, In reality, I am doing more than enough to ensure I get into a good college, it is just the disgusting attitude of my peers that makes me feel pressured and overwhelmed. 

In the end, however, the world and our local community may try to harm our goals and stop us from achieving them, but it is up to ourselves to pursue our goals. Hatred fueled by the competitive school I go to fuels me to work harder, and the remote agenda that the world is pushing has only led me to realize that I need to stop taking real life for granted. By taking small strides to pursue our goals and better our lifestyle, we will be able to become the best version of ourselves.