Karen Khvan, Period 2, 4/19/2023

It is time for me to fess up- I have had Song of Achilles gathering dust on my bookshelf ever since Christmas of last year. After hearing raves about it on social media and friends repeatedly recommending it to me, I decided to cave in and finally purchase the book that everyone spoke so highly of. However, it wasn’t a lack of time or a disinterest in the matter that kept me from reading it- it was knowing how it ended.

I am a hopeless romantic. I will admit (although I am a little embarrassed) that my favorite genre to read is romance. I, also, am terrified of heartbreak and an incredibly emotional person (I already know I am going to be in a puddle of tears by the end- my first heartbreaking read was The Fault in our Stars when I was 10 and I cried for two hours afterwards). The idea that a person takes so much of you and then just disappears for your life is something that I can only imagine is some of the hardest things to bear, and putting myself through that even through a wall of paper can be too much. I read to escape into a happier world, and as naive as it sounds I don’t want the unsteadiness of reality to creep into the things that make me happy. So for a long time I did only stick to rom coms with cute cartoon covers and satisfying conclusions- however, this upcoming blog finally pushed me to escape my comfort zone and take the plunge. Song of Achilles, as a medium in itself, has truly transformed the young adult genre. I personally heard of it in 2021 (although the book was released in 2011) through social media (Tik Tok), and it was truly one of the first books depicting a non heterosexual relationship that I had seen gain such widespread popularity. Perhaps it is my lack of expertise in the book realm or my admittedly mainstream book collection, but watching it seep into every famous book-tokers “must read list” really made me want to join in and read as well.

I went into the book bare-boned- all I knew was that Achilles and Patroclus were lovers, and that Patroclus is killed. Ouch. I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t hesitant to pick up the book- it almost feels like a weight in my chest just anticipating the inevitable. However, I knew I had to give it a fair chance and allow the author's intentions to take over. It’s meant to be painful, and a fear of that will only limit my own horizons.

I am currently halfway into the book, and intend to finish the other half and write about my overall thoughts in the next blog. Currently, though, I am in awe of the prose and diction that Madeline Miller curated to create such stunning imagery. A line that stuck with me was definitely “It had been my companion for the weeks of travel, a reminder of my worth”. You can’t help but ache for young Patroclus- the lack of love he received growing up. He equated his worth to a bag of gold- that image so powerful that it causes a pit in your stomach and empathy for a boy who was never given enough as a child. Similarly, watching Achilles and Patroclus grow together was something beautiful. Their innocent friendship jumped off the pages- it was basked in warmth, and it took me back to my own friendships when I was a little girl, playing house and barbies with my friends and giggling during hide and seek. Similarly, watching them try to figure out their feelings about themselves and one another was touching, and the author's descriptions were so deeply emotional and insightful that it drew you in.

I cannot describe in enough words how much I have enjoyed reading the book thus far, and feel like I am not doing it justice. I wish I could rant and talk about every little pretty sentence and each motif but that would take a while, and I am glad I picked it up. The writing is verbose and descriptive and every synonym for pure stunning- it leaves you immersed and paints vivid images in your mind. You feel immensely for the characters, and I am definitely excited yet scared for what is to come.