Anastasia Kichula, Period 6, 12/1/22

 Anastasia Kichula, Period 6, 12/1/22, Modern Mythology 2023

Atomic Habits & Growth

Recently, I have really felt “senioritis” kick in. All the procrastination I have been battling since the beginning of high school decided to make its mark on me in the past few weeks. At the current point in time, I feel unsatisfied with the work I’ve been doing, constantly wishing to be more on time and put in more effort. This is even reflected in this current blog, which I have somewhat neglected through all the other mind-clouding distractions and responsibilities I’ve had. My academic standards have always been a reflection of what my parents wanted and the grades they would accept if I told them, but currently I am working on shaping my standards to what I believe is satisfactory for myself. The standards I have set for myself now are to perform at my maximum. There are many days where I go to sleep late and the next day I am in no shape for extraordinary work, yet there are some days where I outperform my own expectations. I want to be able to enjoy the work I submit and be proud of it, yet also understand my own limitations and that my best work will not be the same every day.

I crafted these standards after thinking about how my performance level at school correlated with my emotions. During freshman year, everything was very fun, fresh, and new, and I felt very energetic in my work and performance level. Throughout Covid, the half of freshman year and entire sophomore year, I experienced a lack of effort and work throughout the feelings of confusion and much change. These two years were full of change, and although I don’t quite remember much from them, they are still the basis for who I am today. In my junior year, I think I struggled the most. Due to SATs/ACTs and overall expectations to outperform myself through standards set by my parents, I found myself in my room every hour of the day with the exceptions of the 10 minute walk to school, school itself, and the 10 minute walk back home and to my room. Every day felt the same and I was nauseated by school work. In my senior year, I see how each year has reflected on my standards for myself and my attitude towards them. The emotions and hyperactivity I experienced in freshman/sophomore year is something that I reminisce very often and hope to come back to, yet the everyday tiredness has carried on to my senior year and prevents me from being productive and enjoying myself. After some much needed thinking, I realized that my senior year has been the happiest time for me so far and I shouldn’t focus on the past if I want to continue being happy and productive with my work. Personally, my life outside of school reflects on my life in school a lot: friendships, relationships, extracurricular activities, and now college applications, that take up my time during the day and the night and influence me. 

Although I have not achieved these standards, I like to think that I am on a strong path towards it. I have been trying to find the perfect work-life balance. With a consistent and reliable mindset, I find myself getting more sleep and happier overall. I have been working on being happy with people I communicate and valuing my inner peace above all. The people that surround me bring out the best versions of myself, the activities I participate in allow me to express myself creatively, and the time I take to take care of myself and my mental health all allow me to reach the inner peace I strive to have. I assess myself quite often, I would say weekly even. I like to look at the week I’ve had and reflect on what I feel like I could have accomplished with a different perspective and what I had done very well. I try to make adjustments as soon as I realize they will be beneficial, yet I tend to see that I come back to the same place I used to be at quite often. Like I’ve said before, I am a work in progress but looking back, I am happy with all the progress I have made.