Tracy Wang, Period 6, 11/8/2022

 Tracy Wang, Period 6, 11/8/2022

After witnessing the effects of procrastination from my upperclassmen during my junior year, I swore to not rush my college applications. My personal statement was the first step I took toward this goal. While I've never had a particularly great work ethic, I wasn't at a point in my life where it was critical until my final year.

My procrastination differs from others in that, rather than originating from laziness, it arose from my dread of failure. I’m an undisciplined idealist. In a perfect world, all of my work would be completed to the highest possible standard. However, my apprehension of failing leads me to be hesitant to tackle new tasks. While a reasonable person may attempt to compensate for not knowing the information on an exam by studying as much as possible, I dwell on how difficult it is rather than focusing on learning. Even for this blog, which I'm currently writing, I procrastinated since I couldn't come up with a compelling topic.

Knowing that the college application process came with a multitude of unpredictabilities, I set out to start earlier than all of my peers. I accommodated for the time that I would inevitably spend procrastinating by getting at least half of my application done before August.

At this moment, I want to continue working on conquering my anxiety about making mistakes. I wish to grow accustomed to flaws in my work and not allow them to hinder my productivity. Rather than worrying about how I will fail, my goal is to spend more time ensuring that I do not underperform in the first place. I've already submitted my Early Decision and Early Action college applications, and I'd like to extend this newfound discipline to my upcoming Regular Decision applications, coursework, SING, personal fulfillment activities, and so on.

As anticipated, I had slacked off on my college applications and had to stress about the deadline alongside everyone else. But instead of accepting failure and putting it off until the last second, I paced myself to do work every day, despite the want to speed through it all the night before. When I am overwhelmed in class, I challenge myself to ask questions even though I may appear silly in front of my peers. Even when I procrastinate, I demonstrate resilience by trying harder the next time. One all-nighter does not indicate that I should give up and never try again. Instead, I try to get right back on track as soon as possible.

I evaluated my success in my planner to track my development. I knew I was managing myself properly if I could complete things at least two days ahead of time. Having a weekly itinerary was essential for holding me accountable. However, in my desire to plan without fully understanding my skills, I overloaded my calendar. I was being idealistic once more. As I became more aware of my limitations, I altered my schedule to be more in line with what I was capable of accomplishing.