Michelle Lu, Period 1, 05/16/22

Creativity & Fiction

Dear Olivia,

A Letter to an Old Friend

It has been so incredibly long since we last talked. How have you been? How are your dogs Zeus and Fred doing? I’ve never met Fred in person, but I remember how cuddly and friendly Zeus was with me every time I went over to your house. Also, I saw on social media that you just had your graduation so congratulations! I wish I was there to share this joyous moment with you and all our other friends. But instead, I’m halfway across the country, drowning in piles of work while preparing for my own graduation.

I can’t believe it has been 3 years since I moved to New York. Three years seem like a long time, but once experienced, it flew by in the blink of an eye. It’s moments like this that I get scared by how fast time travels, by the missed opportunities that could’ve brought about something wonderful, by the beautiful memories that could only stay as memories.

We’ve known each other for almost 10 years. We were the best of the best together, laughing in unison at seemingly humorless jokes and holding the deepest conversations without a word spoken. I remember the first year of my move. We talked as if there wasn’t any physical distance between us. You would tell me everything that went on in your day, and I would understand all the references you make. We texted each other random memes and thoughts that we came across and would reply within seconds with something equally meaningful. Our relationship was built like a magnificent sandcastle. The efforts of making it stand upright and the laughter heard while carving out each detailed tower, we were together throughout the whole process. However, even the greatest sandcastle can dissipate with the crashing of a single large wave.

As time went on, those seconds turned into days, which then turned into weeks. We were great one moment and not the next. At first, I didn’t understand, didn't want to understand what was happening. But the truth is, I couldn’t accept the fragility of our friendship and the simple fact that we were drifting apart. It was ten years together versus one apart. How could the bond we had lose its strength so quickly? Gradually, I couldn’t understand the references you were making anymore, I lost the ability to read your mind with a single glance during our diminishing facetime calls, and I found myself racking my brain to come up with a response to keep the dying conversation alive. Eventually, we just lost contact completely.

I can’t say that I’m completely fine by now because truthfully speaking, I’m still getting used to it. Once in a while, thoughts of what we could’ve been, what we could've had, still pops into my head. What if I had told you when I initially felt the drift between us? What if I had just called you instead of thinking that I’ll be a bother to you? What if I had texted you back quicker instead of letting the presence of awkwardness hold me back? All this time, I believed that what happened to us was both of our fault, but as I’m writing this letter, maybe I was more to blame. Nonetheless, we both moved on with our lives. You were a big part of my teenage years, and although we might never get back what we had, I want to thank you for what we did have. I miss you.

 Your Friend, Michelle