Stanley Chen, Period 8, 4/11/22

Stanley Chen, Period 8, 4/4/22

Literacy & Learning

Write about your thoughts regarding any of the fiction or non-fiction covered in class.

Reflect on any new information you have learned in English class by considering how that

learning influences your critical perception.

How is what you’re learning applied to any other classes/the world around you?

In class, there was a personal reflection question in Lesson 15 on Interview with a

Vampire which allowed me to confront a nagging conflict I’ve had since around the

holiday break. The question asked, “What is the best way to move on from something

painful...to completely destroy it, or leave it at peace?” Looking back on my response to

other personal reflections, this painfulness is something that doesn’t only affect me. In

fact, it’s thinking about how I affected people which affects me so much.

In middle school, I was a very immature (relative to now) person. I thought constantly

making pushing the envelope with offensive and weird jokes were funny. I would inject

myself into conversations that I didn’t need to be in and it only served to ruin any

possible chance for a meaningful relationship or friendship I could’ve had. I didn’t see

how this pattern of being awkward for the sake of it it was turning people away from

me. Looking back on it, it’s shocking how uncomfortable I might’ve made these people

feel, and it makes me almost as uncomfortable as they might’ve been.

I’m glad to say I’ve grown so much from who I was 5 years ago. I can have serious

conversations with people and realize when to give people the space they need. I went to

my first ever concert 2 weeks ago and noticed in pictures how much more I’ve smiled

since before I went to Tech. Since the 5-minute eye contact exercise we did when Mr.

Liu was a substitute, I’ve been able to become much more natural in conversation. I see

my former classmates and instead of being as petty as I was years ago, I’m glad they’ve

been able to also find joy and optimism in their lives too.

But seeing them also makes me sometimes feel guilty for not taking enough

accountability. Going back to the original question: should I try to destroy and erase

what I did, or just ignore it and leave it at peace? In class, I brought up another option:

mending it. However, mending it could create its own problems. What if they’ve already

been able to move on and come to peace, and all I do is reopen old wounds? Or is this

just an excuse I tell myself so I can give myself the option of leaving it and not having to

address it?

I think even realizing I was able to question myself like this has given me the answer. If I

ever see them again, I’m not afraid to confront my past self since I know those are two

vastly different people. However, I’m also not going to let this phase of my life define me

for the rest of my life. I can move on knowing people no longer treat me the same way

due to how I’ve learned to better treat others.

As a final note for the final blog, I’ve never been a very big fan of writing but I’ve come

to enjoy typing these blogs and seeing my personal growth and introspection

throughout the year. Thank you Ms. Fusaro for constantly encouraging us not just as

students, but as people, to take note of these moments of growth through critique.