Amanda Cheng, period 8, 9/29/2021

 Amanda Cheng

Period 8

9/29/2021

At this current point in time, what specific goal(s) do you have for yourself? Why?

As college application deadlines approach closer and closer, I feel like I am dedicating almost all of my time to school, essay writing, and keeping up with my extracurriculars. Especially after 2 years of remote learning, I have been struggling with adjusting back to a 5-day 8-hour school schedule. And most importantly, waking up at 6 AM. If I could wish for anything right now, I would wish for more time. However, if this was granted to me, I feel I would end up allocating my work towards this extra time. I think what I want is to spend time in the present instead of worrying about the future. I tell myself to push for the next 3 months, submit my applications, and then I can finally relax. I keep staring at the light at the end of the tunnel. I think it makes me feel more miserable by not enjoying myself at the moment, and instead of chasing future happiness. It is why my goal is to focus on the present and mindfully enjoy the process. My focus is to be content with where my life is right now, instead of stressing about my future happiness.

How do you demonstrate resilience towards achieving this goal? (or these goals?)

I attempt to hang out with my friends at least once a week, and with my family at least twice a week. It motivates me to keep a better work-life balance, and still have fun during the busiest time of my high school years. Whether it is having deep conversations while eating in a restaurant or playing mahjong with my family, I strive to ignore the stress on my shoulders so I can truly be in the moment of enjoyment. I try to convince myself that delaying “happiness” into the future wouldn’t work, as I will always have something to do and look forward to something else. It makes me feel better that I am not “wasting time,” but I'm improving my mental health and my mood. Time for myself feels so little, but it is so valuable to help me survive during this stressful time. 

How does the world around you affect your perception of this goal? (or these goals?)

Especially during quarantine, I have had an increased amount of leisure time. I began to recognize spending time in the moment, as I don’t think I was very successful doing pre-covid. Last year allowed me to reconnect with my family, strengthen my bonds with friends by actively reaching out to chat with them, and gave me a better understanding of myself. I understand the privilege to consider the pandemic as extra free time when other people have lost everything to it. It made me recognize how valuable my life is and how precious time is. The pandemic prompts me to spend my own time more carefully.  I want my time to be filled with exciting memories and satisfaction, which is why my goal is to be able to look back on high school with pride and no regrets.