Christian Sheherlis, Period 5, 11/16/2020, Day B

 At this current point in time, what specific goal(s) do you have for yourself? Why

    Shoved into this pandemic out of the blue, I found it as an opportunity to better myself and find ways to express myself that I previously hadn't fully explored. Before the pandemic I shut myself off and was never really able to show my true colors in any way. While trying to find an outlet for this expression, I suddenly found my way towards both music and art. Prior to the pandemic, I didn't really have much of an interest in music and I enjoyed art, though thought of myself as incapable of being able to do it myself. Gradually, while locked away from the outside world for so long, this began to change. I found myself levitating more and more towards music and art. I want to push these forms of expression as far as a can, and so the goals I've set for myself is improving at music, specifically the acoustic guitar, and art. After finally realizing the mental barrier I subconsciously put up for so long, I want to finally break past it and be able to express myself without feeling an overbearing sense of self-consciousness. For so long I thought of myself incapable of creative endeavors such as these because I was unable to be satisfied with what I created, though I hope to break past this block and finally be able to show the world who I truly am.

How do you demonstrate resilience towards achieving this goal? (or these goals?)

    These days it's hard to find the motivation for anything, every day feels like it blends with the last and it's going to blend with the next. Some days it's hard to even get out of bed, let alone find the motivation to better yourself. I admit, I've fallen victim to days where I would lay in bed in 5pm and feel like garbage the rest of the day. Despite this, I still try to make time for some form of practice, whether it be a quick doodle or practicing simple chord progressions just to keep myself sharp. I keep a small sketchbook near my bed so for those days where it feels hard to even move around I can find myself reaching to work on something. So, despite the draining feeling of being locked inside all the time, I try to keep myself striving, because you never know how one bad day can snowball into many.

 

How does the world around you affect your perception of this goal? (or these goals?) 

    My perception of music and art had always been a sort of pessimistic view, thinking that everything these people create will be so much better than I could ever make. Recently, however, I have grown out of this mindset. After the pandemic began I surrounded myself with more music and art than ever before and, in doing so, I saw the people trying their hardest to improve in or even enter one of these fields. Seeing that is likely what pushed me to believe that this is something I can do, it's not a matter of talent someone's born with, but rather the effort someone puts in. Now when I turn on some music or look at a piece of art I'm not saying "I'll never be able to do something like this," instead I say "one day I'll be able to reach this point." Seeing the struggles of other people to get to a point where they can be proud of their work and distribute it out into the world, a story like that is more motivating than people give it credit for. I fully believe that any goal is achievable is someone is willing to put the time and effort in to succeed, there's no such thing as never being able to reach a point because you're not talented enough.