Chase Dalcortivo, Period 7, 11/30/23
Modern Mythology
Recently in Modern Mythology, we took time to analyze ways our lives have transformed. I was quick to write about my transition between middle school and high school and what changed during that time. I wasn’t able to completely capture fully what it was that transformed, so I wanted to write it in a narrative way which could better show my knowledge of my transfer:
Throughout middle school, I was the cool kid, or so I thought in my mind. There was a reputation that I had to hold up to feel validated by myself. If people thought that I was a clown, all my time and energy would be spent trying to make them wrong. If people thought I was the coolest thing in the world, I would spend the longest trying to ensure I stood at the top of their minds. There was a toxic relationship between me and my image. The highs would last 5 seconds. Hitting the game winner in my gym class would be forgotten by the end of the period, while spilling milk on yourself would last weeks. My success quickly became my image's downfall.
“The answer is 27!” I exclaimed from the back of the class.
“Shut up nerd!” I heard from the table to the left of me. The person who said it was a close friend of mine that I tried my best to talk to every day.
While I had been the only one who was able to solve the problem, and I should have spent some moments happy for my success, my image told me I was only to be ashamed for my quick answer. Somehow, being smart and doing what I loved, I quickly became shamed for it and had to pretend that wasn’t who I really was. This lasted all the way until the end of middle school. The end of middle school is truly what allowed me to transform into the person I am today. The chance to make new friends, make a new identity for myself, and erase whatever image I had. Even if people traveled with me to Staten Island Tech, I wouldn’t be afraid to showcase a new version of myself and improve the relationship of me and my image. I no longer had to pretend to be the cool person, because cool could change for me. Thankfully, the environment the school offered me allowed me to be myself, and being smart was actually seen as cool. On top of that, I could transform the idea of happiness for myself. I now was okay with being the clown in certain social situations, so long as it resulted in happiness for the people around me. I didn’t want anyone to feel the burden of being cool, and the best way to do that was to cast any burden of having to change to hang around me. I have truly started to accept people the way they are and make the best of all situations that I am put into. The change of environment and my realization of the horrid place I was in before truly allowed me to set myself free. Now, no matter where I am I understand that things don’t revolve around me as much as I previously thought. People are more worried about themselves than they are whatever it is I can be doing. Being satisfied with myself, and making that my image was the most important thing for me. Spending the time and effort to keep myself in people’s minds, when truly everyone should (and usually did) care more about themselves and getting better. This is not to say I didn’t interact with people around me and try to be cool, it is just to say that I cared less about their cool, and more about mine. Shouting out the answer to a hard question might bring out laughter to those around me, but I know it is best for me. My character has completely transformed and it is now other people that I try my best to champion and worry more about their own feelings and emotions. The burdens I had put on myself before had been lifted by a transformation of my thoughts of myself on the world around me. I now work my best to keep my image out of my own mind and better those around me. It is one of the best transformations in my life, and it has allowed me to become the beacon of joy I strive to be every day.